We've all heard the phrases - the terrible two's, threenagers, "oh boy they're a teenager with an attitude now", and how teenagers are know-it-all's. We've joked about it. A lot of us have experienced it, lived it, and are even there now!
It's a for real thing I know. As a mom of five boys, I've experienced many ages and stages of a child's life. I've complained about it, but one day as one of my boys was sick and scared (throwing up a lot has landed James in the hospital about three times), my thoughts on it all drastically changed. James has type 1 diabetes and his body just doesn't deal well with the flu. The first three years after his diagnosis found us with extended stays in the hospital as we navigated how to stay strong in the midst of type 1 diabetes and the flu. Every flu season brought some stress and worry and tons and tons pf prayers for God to keep James safe and keep the flu bug far from him. What does this have to do AT ALL with the different stages of childhood and my thoughts and views on it changing? A LOT. Let me share a quick story . . .
It had been a tough year (we've all had them) . My husband ended up in the hospital with a work injury and my eldest son received his 6th concussion (this was all within a week of each other), then add in James waking up throwing up and I thought, "NOT NOW, GOD! PLEASE!" As I grabbed a cold wet washcloth (has healed many an ailment in my house for years . . . try it!) I started praying. I prayed for protection and healing and then all of a sudden it hit me. Was I going to live in fear and worry all over again? Was I going to sit here and pack for the hospital because I just knew that's where we'd end up? Was I going to cast all those fears onto James? Because if that were the case, he'd never get better, and we WOULD end up in the hospital. Instead of being scared and "hoping for the best", or even praying, "God please make him better!", we started saying things like, "it's just for a short time" and "thank You, God for making him better", and "we believe the best!" As he kept throwing up, I could see his mood shifting from the negative and fear, to "I know this is the last time I'll be sick". He didn't cry with worry, he cried out, "I believe I'm not going to the hospital, God!" And sure enough, as time passed, he stopped throwing up, and no hospital visit was necessary.
So what's the point of me sharing about my kid being sick? The point is huge because it doesn't just affect me and my kid being sick, but all areas of our lives. Not just OUR lives here, but YOUR life as well. What if, when our kids are walking through a different season or stage, instead of always talking about it being the "terrible two's" or dreading them being a teenager with an attitude, we walk into it with positivity and hope? What if we spoke life into them instead of what we've always heard every other mother say? Maybe what's always been just isn't going to work for us anymore.
I mean I'm not saying there won't be tantrums or difficult moments to get through, but when we start each season, and even each day, with hope, with belief, with positivity . . . it sure makes it all easier to face. It wasn't easy seeing my kid be sick, but as we tried everything in our arsenal to get him better, and as we prayed and believed he'd be better - we had hope. We had something to cling to. The days when he'd get sick and we'd live in fear, fear was never a great thing to hold on to. It always slipped through our fingers. We had nothing to cling to . . . but clinging to hope gave us an anchor. Something to actually grasp.
That's why we should do our best to switch our way of thinking, and even the way we speak to and about our kids. If all they're hearing us say is how difficult they are, or are going to be, why would they be anything else? We've already set the tone and stage for them. Then we wonder why they are difficult?? Oh don't worry, I'm not speaking from a life of doing this right. I'm not speaking from a place of having it all worked out and now I'm sharing my great wisdom with you. I'm sharing this from a place of LEARNING. I'm sharing this from a place of I'M HERE with you! I'm on boy four entering the teenage years and instead of getting excited about this, I immediately started joking about how difficult it was going to be. I joked about how difficult his brothers were. I watched his smile slightly fade and turn into a fake smirk he tried to keep on his face. I watched it all and I knew I was going about it all wrong. I had hurt him. I had told him, without even walking through it yet, that it was going to be a burden for me. I had set both he and I up for failure and I am saying NO MORE.
Won't you join me in speaking life over our kids? Join me in believing in them and turning off all the noise of what USED to be said. Join me in walking into each stage and phase as a time of joy and not dread. Join me in knowing there will be difficult days, sure, and difficult experiences . . . but also in knowing that when we are speaking LIFE, and POSITIVITY, and PEACE, and EXCITEMENT . . . that it makes it all a lot more bearable. I have so much floating around in my head about this, I hope I am getting it across good to you! My words may be jumbled and my punctuation off, but the message is clear. LIFE. HOPE. CHANGE. SOMETHING TO CLING TO.
You got this Mama. The days may feel long, but let me tell you the years are too short. Don't waste a single moment on fear, worry and negativity, They have no place here. And remember . . . you don't have to be a Boymom, you just have to be RELENTLESS. Love you.